Ashton’s Martinis

Realmente, a verdade é que não me sinto totalmente em paz com o facto de ser masoquista e a mais recente entrada da B. apenas veio realçar tal facto.

Não foi tanto o sentir que aqueles imbecis dos gor ou raio como é que eles se chaman me excitam, porque, comparados com a Inquisição, eles são uns caniches ao pé de rotweilers e a verdade é que uma das minhas fantasias recorrentes é ser torturada por um loiro e cruel frade dominicano. Ou seja,goreans, se vos ameacei , caso tivesse poder absoluto, de vos cortar a cabeça ao estilo de Robespierre , não se preocupem. Não era bem a vocês que estava a ameaçar, estava apenas a expressar a minha zanga por considerar excitante a merda que vocês e grupos semelhantes apregoam.

Assusta-me bastante ter a noção que, num momento em que me sinta mais frágil e com mais tesão, possa sentir a tentação de it ter com com alguém semelhante.Sinto – me como uma potencial viciada em cocaína que está sempre a um passo de começar a consumir.

Afinal, como posso eu estar a obserer vezes sem conta o trailer do filme “Elizabeth – The Golden Age”, ao mesmo tempo que , no msn, estou a pedir a um homem que me chicoteie porque eu fui demasiado directa?!!

Já agora, aqui está o trailer:

I just guessed part of POCT:AWE’s plot,including some lines.

Either me and the writers are astral twins or I’m getting perhaps a tad too obsessed!Or perhaps I’m a tad obsessed because me and the writers are actually share some psychic connection and ,therefore,I also participated in the script creation.

There’s just something eery about something we imagined appearing exactly the way you did it, but by other people’s hands ( and minds).

Now,someone give me some money:after all,the script is also mine !

A)My ultimate submissive fantasy: dominate! Like a director decides how the actors will play, how the set is going to look like,etc. And of course, which and how the dialogs will be said.

B)My ultimate dom fantasy men: Johnny Depp and Ville Valo.

Are A and B compatible? No.

What’s a girl to do?

Thank God she’ll never meet them.

Actually,the title was going to be longer,but then it would loose its appeal.

Today, I had the special and sensual pleasure of eating a Swirl, a magnificent and lustful icecream by Olá: it’s a sinful creation consisting of two flavours of whipped ice cream, fruit and and a variety of toppings. I’ve decided on coconut, white and dark chocolate and the special, final and most sensual of them all, chantilly ( whipped milk cream, I suppose, for the english speakers).

Perhaps I’m too oral, but what may be compared to taste that white, soft and yet solid material?! It melts on our mouth, we feel the sppon entering it and each time we try it, we never really achieve all its mystery…we must try more and more! It seems we are eating mashed pearls and we must keep on eating them until we get the maximum point…it’s an endless craving!Forget fellatio and cunnilingus: this is real oral sex ! All your senses are stimulated, the pleasure you take from seeing it equals the one you take from tasting it: it wouldn’t be the same if you could not observe such pure whiteness!It’s like watching Johnny Depp without listening to his voice ! ( No,no,I do see myself eating Johnny…not in that sense,though ).

What’s the only thing comparable to such pleasure? Penetrating a recently bought cream: face mask, body cream, hair conditioner…only the texture and smell and colour matters!Dipping your fingers in that firm and rich texture, feeling that softness around you, feeling it melting,getting warmer,reaching every nervous ending…I’m sorry men, but being fucked isn’t really the same thing,unless it’s done roughly.Then,there’s a sense of being taken that just
goes direct to the brain and it involves all the skin,as concept..it’s just too overwhelming!

And yes,I’m writing the Caribbean fiction !

Well,while drinking some of my fantastic ( and probably delusional inducing) cocktails, I imagined Teresa Villaverde could direct one of my most wildest fantasies ( I could really call it fiction,but,well,it’s more an intellectualized wanking fantasy,lol) concerning Jack and Elizabeth’s relationship. Of course,once I was imagining ,Johnny and Keira would actually accept to perform the roles.

Please,bear in mind,the most insane thing in this fantasy is not the actual plot , but the fact I considered we could really pay Johnny Depp’s fee. We wouldn’t. Actually, if we could pay the travel to the Caribbean,it would be quite a miracle. And it’s not a lolling case: our cinema deserves better.

Anyway,then I started to imagine Teresa directing POTC and I confess I trembled a tad. Action isn’t really our thing and,actually,I think European cinema isn’t that much about action .But she would be perfect to direct my fantasy…and,well,after three paragraphs avoiding telling it,it’s time for me to expose it !

So,let us all imagine we’re at sunny Caribbean,where,actually,I’ve never have been. But that’s secondary. And it’s under a blue/white light. And there’s few dialogs.And lots of philosophical sex. What’s philosophical sex? It’s an excuse I made up right now for the fact not even during fantasies I’m capable og imagining sex scenes without theorizing about it.

So,where were we? Yes,sunny but in a melancholic way, Caribbean,specifically Jamaica, nowadays. All the characters are incredibly rich,though the source of that money is never explained,taking Helen.And they all live in manors, all decorated in a minimal yet elegant and some times intricate style,being the most relevant element white furniture and sculptures, together with tall,elegant glasses and crystals and large windows. Why are all the houses decorated in the same way,you ask.

1- There’s not that many decorators in Jamaica

2- I was keeping my imagination for the sex scenes.And yes,they’re mostly BDSM related. But no latex and collars and other stuff would be used.

But let’s advance. There are four characters: Elizabeth, Jack ,Will and Helen, the police inspector. Elizabeth is married to Will,who’s a bit naïve,but intelligent. He’s also a decorative element,though not in white. But I thought I might add some variation to the furniture.

Elizabeth had previously married Jack ,but he mysteriously disappeared in a sea accident;the body was never found.

Now,Helen thinks Elizabeth killed him. Elizabeth often returns to her previous manor…where…well,I’ll actually write the fiction here.In the next post !

Como feminista, pura e simplesmente babo perante a personagem de Elizabeth Swann ( embora tenha a profunda convicção de que, se não sabem quem ela é, sois vis criminosos, em vez de vos enforcar, informo -vos de que estou a falar de uma personagem do filme “Piratas das Caraíbas”. Se tb não sabem do que se trata, bolas, olhem para os cartazes colocados em cima de cada bilheteira de cinema dos Centros Comerciais !), interpretada por Keira Knightley.

Quantas vezes heróinas de cinema aparecem retratadas desta forma?!

Austera, determinada, tensa, pronta a combater! Ela não está a posar…está em plena luta e nós, por puro acaso, testemunhámos um instante!
Nada de olhares sedutores, nada de mamocas a acenarem ou de fragilidade perante o protagonista. Num outro poster de POTC:AWE , em que aparecem todas as personagens principais, Elizabeth é apresentada alumiando o caminho com uma lanterna ( ela, que irá ao inferno) e segurando uma pistola.
Com excepção de “The Bride”,em Kill Bill, não me lembro de uma outra heroína cujo porte de armas seja uma constante!

Sim, ela é agressiva, sim,é violenta,sim, pode ser tão honrada como terrivelmente cruel,sim, engana e manipula, mas é também ousada e criativa, e,sim,luta pelo que está correcto!

Não é uma personagem plana,mas complexa,com diversos aspectos e contradições! Não está lá para provar a heterossexualidade dos personagens ( mesmo porque Jack Sparrow é uma personagem carregada de ambiguidade sexual), mas tem um papel próprio!

Elizabeth raramente sorri, nunca seduz, lembrando sempre um elegante conjunto de linhas rectas, tenso, por vezes perto da ruptura. Recusa categoricamente usar corpete, ser castrada, limitada na sua liberdade, apenas por ser mulher.

Em algumas situações, lembra-me a Tenenente Ripley,da série Alien.
Nesta cena, basta substituir Yun-Fat pelo Alien e ficamos com uma idéia bastante clara:

Não interessa se está rodeada de piratas armados, o seu olhar é sempre severo, nunca se rende.

Parece haver algo de trágico nesta personagem: primeiro, desafia a Lei ,arriscando a vida, para salvar aquele delicioso pirata , depois, mata-o. Não se comporta Jack Sparrow com um deus, seduzindo e manipulando os que o rodeiam como meras peças, facilmente abandonando-os à morte, se assim lhe convier? Tal como o herói trágico, Elizabeth enfrenta o destino,os deuses que dispunham da Humanidade!

Elizabeth recusa sempre submeter – se , mesmo que o preço seja a morte ou a descida ao inferno, essa morte existencial que lhe poderia trazer alguma redenção. Ms algo me diz que ela não procurará desculpar – se pelos seus actos!

Sim,há toda uma componente sexual nesta cena,apenas estou a abordar um aspecto, a sua componente feminista . E sim, como estou completamente apaixonada por esta personagem,posso ter imaginado muita coisa !

The bad thing is I always imagine her in a BDSM relationship with Jack…but that’s another post!

…………………………………………………………..

Well,following some gentle requests for me to translate this post,here it is…

The abstract,once I don’t have the patience to actually translate it !

Elizabeth has more weapons than the blokes. She looks really bad-ass. She never smiles.She rarely tries to seduce .She’s such a feminist character.I love her!!!

Some more pics:

It’s rare for a female character to be presented,during the films,in such a strong way: she never really conforms herself in being saved,she saves herself,or in team.But never allows to be treated as a damsell in distress. And how many characters do we know that kill the man they crave?! That’s just so…wait,that’s the part where I speak about Elizabeth reminding me of tragic heroes/heroins.

Normally,such characters always defy either the society/gods/destiny. We do understand their acts,though they’re normally cruel,or,in spite of such acts being normally cruel,we do understand them: such acts always mean a defiance to an order that prevents people from following their wishes. I’m not saying there’s a theological figure in POTC,but Jack does behave like some tragic god: using mortals to fulfill his/her goals, involving them into her/his affairs and,finally “bye,I no longer care about you,who told you to mess with me”.

Normally,it’s male characters who go to hell,who perform such redemption? acts,etc. I really don’t think Elizabeth is searching for redemption,but you get my point.

Now,may I still be your counting slave…pretty please? And may I drink the wine in the next chapter ?